Tag Archives: repentance

11/17/20

Ready for the Gospel

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In “The Order of Grace,” the fifth video in the teaching series The Whole Christ, Sinclair Ferguson remarked how the serpent distorted the character of God in Genesis 3. He noted this was the very essence of legalism, when God’s loving character was divorced from His law. Our eyes become focused on the law as if it consisted of naked commandments and not as the directives of our heavenly Father who wants the very best for us. In a remarkable way, Genesis 3 underlines how closely related to one another legalism and antinomianism are. We often think of antinomianism and legalism as opposites to one another, but we discover in the gospel they are dealt with “by using exactly the same medicine.”

One of the questions raised by the controversy over the “Auchterader Creed,” and The Marrow of Modern Divinity, was, do we forsake sin and repent in order to be prepared to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? Thomas Boston thought that putting repentance first was not a helpful way to understand the message of the gospel. However, there was a concern that failing to put repentance first would lead people into antinomianism if they did not have the law of God leading to conviction of sin, and then to faith. Boston and others wanted to argue that just as an increase in our sanctification does nothing to our justification, repentance does not precede faith as a condition for coming to Christ.

For some people that was a very frightening thought. If you don’t insist that you’ve got to add to your justification and your sanctification, then will people not live any way they want? If you’re as justified in the first day of your Christian life as you will be on the last day of your Christian life, and you’re saying to people, “You can live any way you want in between.”

Insisting that there were conditions that need to be met before you came to faith in Christ “poisoned the waters, rather than brought forth the pure water of the gospel.” Yet, does not the very language of Scripture indicate that repentance must come before believing? Ferguson then reminded his audience of what was said previously about the “ordo salutis,” the order of salvation (See “Wandering Into Legalism”), that it was often conceived of as a chain. Ferguson said this image of a chain necessarily has one link closing over another, in a kind of progression of links.

And it seems to me that that very way of looking at things, understanding the application of redemption by looking through spectacles that have been crafted, as it were, to see a chain as the organizing principle, almost inevitably means that either you put the link of repentance before faith or you put the link of faith before repentance. And when you’ve done that, you’ve already produced a way of looking at things that is likely, it seems to me, to lead you astray.

Repentance and faith are not joined together like two links in a chain, “They are simply ways of describing what happens when we are united to Jesus Christ and trust Him. We cannot come to Him without leaving the past. And we certainly cannot leave the past unless we come to Him.” Calvin and the Westminster Confession of Faith put it this way—repentance is necessary for salvation, but repentance is not the instrument by which we come to faith in Christ. Genuine repentance takes place within the context of faith, the context of us responding to the grace of God and Jesus Christ in the gospel.

This is why Paul said the law ultimately will not lead us to repentance. Ferguson said: “It may convict us of sin, but the turning around requires the kindness of God, the hope of salvation.” There is no genuine repentance unless there is a sense and a trust in the promised mercy of God in Jesus Christ. “This is what transforms repentance from a work that we accomplish to a response that we make wrought in us by the power of the Holy Spirit as we turn from our sinful lifestyle to a genuine faith in our Savior Jesus Christ.” Genuine repentance always takes place within the context of saving faith.

If repentance is not steeped with faith in Jesus Christ, then it’s legalism, not evangelical repentance. “Repentance is not the means by which we come to Christ.” It is the other side of the coin of faith in which we entrust ourselves to Christ. If you think about repentance and faith chronologically, you are in danger of legalism. “You need to set it within the context of the grace of God in the gospel.” John Calvin said: “A man cannot apply himself seriously to repentance without knowing himself to belong to God. But no one is truly persuaded that he belongs to God unless he has first recognized God’s grace.”

At this point, Ferguson referred to the parable of the prodigal son, or as he retitled it, the parable of the waiting father. Chapter 15 of Luke begins with the Pharisees and scribes grumbling that Jesus receives and even eats with (unclean) sinners. The rabbis taught that God welcomes a penitent sinner, but Jesus sought out sinners, and even ate with them. By their complaint, the Pharisees and scribes effectively were saying that sinners were not good enough to receive the gospel. They’ve not repented, so they’re not really qualified to hear the gospel; they’re not ready for the gospel.

In response to their complaint, Jesus told three parables: the parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:3-7), the parable of the lost coin (Luke 15:8-10) and the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15: 11-32). There is a heightening tension here. In the far country, what leads the son to repentance? “It is the memory that there is food in his father’s house.” He is at the end of himself, but does not say, “I think I need to repent.” Rather, he recalls there is food in the father’s house. “In the story, it’s just the possibility that there might be provision for his need in his father’s house that first brings about the turning home.” Theologically, it is the way the mercy of God evokes the beginning faith in his life and leads him to say, “I will arise and go to my father”—I will go home; I will repent.

The theme that emerges from these three parables is God and the angels rejoice when one who was lost, is found; when one who was dead becomes alive again. God freely offers mercy and salvation to sinners and he celebrates when a wayward son returns to him. Although repentance of the son is important in the parable of the prodigal son, the father’s readiness to forgive stands out. His unexpected actions represent the fatherly love of God for wayward human beings.

Notice that the father sees his returning son when he was still a long way off (Luke 15:20). The father was apparently watching closely for his son’s return. Then the father does something extraordinary—he runs to his son. Culturally, it was undignified for an older man to lift up his robes and run. This father could have done nothing more shameful than what he did. “What that father should have done was to have arranged a ceremony in which the prodigal son would be shamed.”

The father’s actions indicate complete forgiveness and restoration of the younger son. He embraced and kissed him. He ordered the best robe to be put on his son and for shoes to be found for his feet. To commemorate this special occasion, he called for a fattened calf to be killed. The father unequivocally rejected the son declaring he was no longer worthy to be called his son (Luke 15:21). Before the son can say, “Make me one of your hired servants,” the father embraced him in his love.

He’s not going to let this boy say, “Make me one of your hired servants,” because, “This my son was lost and is found. He was dead and he is alive.” And pictorially it’s as though the grace of the heavenly Father—although to be truthful, in the parable it’s really Jesus who is the father, isn’t it? . . . He says, “My child, you were lost and you’re found. You were dead and you’re alive.” The father is a picture of the Lord Jesus.

The older brother complained that despite all the time he served the father, never disobeying him, he never received even a young goat to celebrate with his friends. But when this son, the one who squandered the father’s property on prostitutes comes, “You killed the fattened calf for him!” We see here the reflection of the judgmental spirit of the Pharisees. The father’s reply to his older son is telling: “All that is mine is yours.”

Those who rely on their faithfulness, expecting that they should receive a greater reward than a mere repentant sinner, have missed the point. Jesus Christ came to seek the lost and rejoices when the wayward repent and return.

This article has been based on “The Order of Grace,” the fifth video in Sinclair Ferguson’s teaching series, The Whole Christ, from Ligonier Connect. Here is a link to Ligonier Connect. The video series is itself based upon his book of the same name. You can review summaries of the Marrow Controversy here and here. If the topic interests you, look for more of my ruminations under the link, The Whole Christ.

02/6/15

Turning to God in Repentance

In The Confessions, Augustine famously prayed as a young man of nineteen for God to grant him the gift of chastity, “but not yet.” Augustine said he was afraid that God would deliver him from lust too quickly, “which I desired to have satisfied rather than extinguished.” God “granted” his prayer and it wasn’t for another twelve years that Augustine finally converted to Christianity. In the meantime, he fathered a child by a mistress and spent a few years within the heretical sect of Manichaeism. What seems to have been missing for him at the time was a turning to God in true repentance.

In The Doctrine of Repentance, Thomas Watson said: “Repentance is a grace of God’s Spirit whereby a sinner is inwardly humbled and visibly reformed.”  He went on to discuss what he described as a recipe with six special ingredients for true repentance: 1) the sight of sin; 2) the sorrow for sin; 3) the confession of sin; 4) shame for sin; 5) hatred for sin; and 6) turning from sin. He warned that if any one of them was left out, “repentance loses its virtue.”

So far we’ve looked at the first three ingredients in “On the Road to True Repentance” and “Confession and True Repentance.”  We’ve also seen what Watson thought about “Counterfeit Repentance.” Here we will look at the last three ingredients, with special emphasis on turning from sin.

Watson said it was a great shame not to be ashamed of our sin. If the sins of the godly are mentioned at all on Judgment Day, it will not be to shame them, but to show the riches of God’s grace in pardoning them. Shame for sin is the shame of realizing we were like beasts when we sinned—dogs that returned to their vomit; or pigs wallowing in the mud after they were washed (2 Peter 2:22). “God’s image is defaced, reason is eclipsed, and conscience is stupefied.”

“A true penitent is a sin-loather.” Their spirit is set against it. They hate all sin, for “sin leaves a stain upon the soul.” If you love sin instead of hating it, you are far from repentance. “To the godly, sin is a thorn in the eye; to the wicked, it is a crown on the head.” Sin reaches our soul. By sin we have lost our innocence. Our hatred of sin should be infinitely greater than our love for it ever was. Clearly Augustine at nineteen did not hate lust more than he loved it. He also did not turn from it.

In true repentance, we recognize our sin; we sorrow for our sin; we confess our sin; we are ashamed of our sin; and we hate our sin. These then lead us to the final ingredient: turning from sin. The day we turn from sin, we must commit to a perpetual fast from sin—“Dying to sin is the life of repentance.” Turning from sin should be so visible, that others see it. It’s as if another soul has lodged in the same body.

Our turning must include our hearts—not just our behavior. “The heart is what the devil strives hardest for.” Every sin is to be abandoned; every lust is to be destroyed. “Someone who indulges one sin is a traitorous hypocrite.” An individual may restrain from sin out of fear or design, but a true penitent does so because of their love for God. If sin were not such bitter fruit, if death were not it consequence, “a gracious soul would forsake it out of love for God.”

Turning from sin means a turning to God. “Unsound hearts pretend to leave old sins, but they do not turn to God or embrace his service.” True turning from sin means there is no returning. Returning to sin gives the devil more power than before. “A true turning from sin means divorcing it, so as never to come near it any more.”

Some people are only half-turned—they turn in their judgment, but not in their practice. They acknowledge the power of sin over them, and even weep over it. But they are “so bewitched by it that they have no power to leave it.” In this sense, they are powerless over it; the corruption of their sin is stronger than their convictions. Others are half-turned when they turn from many sins, but remained unturned from some special sin.

“If we turn to God, he will turn to us. He will turn his anger from us, and turn his face to us. It was David’s prayer, “O turn to me, and have mercy upon me” (Ps. 86.16). Our turning will make God turn: “Turn to me, says the Lord, and I will turn to you” (Zech. 1.3). The one who was an enemy will turn to be our friend.”

It could be that at nineteen, Augustine was only half-turned from lust. Through the graciousness of God, he did not remain half-turned, but became one of the most learned and important of the church’s theologians. Within his Book of Meditations, he wrote a “Prayer for the Gift of Tears,” asking that God would take from him whatever “offends the eyes of Thy goodness.”  God alone can renew what is ruined and fallen. Augustine prayed that God would pour into his heart the fullness of His love, so that he would not think of or desire what was carnal or earthly. “But rather love Thee alone.”  This was a full turning to God.

01/30/15

Confession and True Repentance

Psalm 51 has repeatedly drawn me back to read and meditate on it over the years. “Create in me a clean heart, O God” has been and will continue to be a foundational part of my prayer life. “For I know my transgression, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” David would surely agree with Thomas Watson that the recipe for true repentance must include the ingredient of confession.

This is the third of a series of reflections on The Doctrine of Repentance, by Watson.  We’ve looked at “Counterfeit Repentance” and the first two of six essential ingredients for true repentance in “On the Road to True Repentance.” Here we will see what he has to say about the importance of confession for true repentance.

Thomas Watson David, Job (42:1-6), Isaiah (6:5) knew that when we come before God in true repentance, we must acknowledge our sins. Our confession of sin must be “self-accusing”—“Against you, you only have I sinned”; “I repent in dust and ashes”; “I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips.” Watson thought that because of this self-accusation, Satan could not indict us before God, as he did with Job—because we have acknowledged that we have sinned and done what is evil in His sight.  He gave four reasons to confess sin.

Confession is necessary in repentance because it reproves those who would rather hide their sins. “Many would rather have their sin covered than cured.”  However the person who confesses and forsakes sin will obtain mercy (Proverbs 28:13). Confession corrects those who would “confess the pennies but not the dollars.” When our heart accuses us of sin, it must be confessed. Confession also reproves those who would use arguments to defend or justify it. “When men commit sin they are the devil’s servants; when they plead for it they are the devil’s attorneys, and he will give them a fee for it.” Confession also reproves those who would try and point to extenuating circumstances for their sin, as Adam did (Genesis 3:12).

They do not deny they are sinners, but they do what they can to lessen their sins: they indeed offend sometimes, but it is just their nature, and it has been such a long time. These are excuses rather than confessions.

If we judge ourselves, truly, we won’t be judged (1Cor. 11:31). Some individuals like Judas and King Saul confess their sin, they judge themselves—but not truly. “Theirs was not a true confession,” according to Watson. He said that for our confession to be “right and genuine,” it must have the following eight qualities.

First, it must be voluntary. It should flow as freely from us as water from a spring. In contrast, the confession of the wicked is extorted, “like the confession of a man upon a rack.”

Second, true confession leaves heart-wounding impressions. Our hearts must deeply resent it. “It is one thing to confess sin and another to feel sin.”

Third, our hearts must go along with our confession—it must be sincere. A hypocrite confesses sin, but still loves it. The truly penitent person is convinced of the sins they confess, and abhors the sins that they are convinced of.

Fourth, true confession will particularize sin. After a diligent inspection of our hearts, if we see that a particular sin has been committed, “point to that sin with a tear.”

Fifth, a true penitent acknowledges the pollution of his nature. “Our nature is an abyss and a seminary of all evil, from which those scandals that infest the world come.”

Sixth, sin is to be confessed with all its aspects and dimensions. Sin soaks down into the marrow of our bones and cannot be confessed generally or superficially.

Seventh, confession of sin does not blame God. “We must acquit him and acknowledge that he has done us no wrong.”

Eighth, in confessing sin, we must resolve not to repeat them. It is vain to confess something sinful and still continue to do it. “Some run from the confession of sin to the committing of sin.”

David knew that God did not delight in the mere outward, tearful show of sacrifice and confession. True repentance requires a sense of brokenness in confession. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17) The Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament said that the Hebrew word for contrite here is consistently used to refer to someone who is “physically and emotionally crushed because of sin.”

There is no room in true repentance for a showy, tearful eloquent confession of sin if it is not an outward expression of a broken and contrite heart. The legitimacy of a “right and genuine” confession will also take time to confirm. It should be demonstrated within a pattern of progressive steps away from the sin. Too often flashy demonstrations of regret are accepted as true confession. It takes a creative act of God to make a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. And like David, that process begins with our confession of sin before a holy God.

01/23/15

On the Road to True Repentance

Repentance always brings a man to this point: ‘I have sinned.’ The surest sign that God is at work is when a man says that and means it. Anything less than this is remorse for having made blunders, the reflex action of disgust at himself. (My Utmost for His Highest, December 7th)

This short quote from Oswald Chambers has been a personal favorite of mine for a number of years. Mostly, because I need to be reminded of it’s truth. But also because it captures the reality that true repentance demands more than a simple verbal response. To use a well-known recovery saying, you have to walk your talk. Getting a clear sense of what true repentance looks like and feels like is foundational for personal spiritual growth; and it is crucial when discipling and counseling others.

I’ve looked at Thomas Watson’s sense of “Counterfeit Repentance” in his work, The Doctrine of Repentance.  Now I want to reflect on what he says about true repentance. According to Watson, “Repentance is a grace of God’s Spirit whereby a sinner is inwardly humbled and visibly reformed.”  He proposed a recipe with six special ingredients for true repentance: 1. Sight of sin; 2. Sorrow for sin; 3. Confession of sin; 4. Shame for sin; 5. Hatred for sin; and 6. Turning from sin. “If any one of these is left out, repentance loses its virtue.” For now, we’ll look at the first two ingredients.

The Sight of Sin

Watson said the person must first recognize and consider what her sin is, and know the plague of her heart, before she can be duly humbled by it. Just as the first thing that God created was light, the first thing in a penitent is illumination. She must see her sin. “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light” (Ephesians 5:8).

“Where there is no sight of sin, there can be no repentance.” People are blinded by ignorance and self-love. Therefore they do not see what deformed souls they have. They see faults in others, but none in themselves. They don’t know their own heart, and don’t realize what a hell they carry around with them. “They do not see any evil in [their] sin.”

The Sorrow for Sin

There is a multi-facetted sense to sorrow for sin in true repentance. Watson suggests five aspects to true, repentant sorrow.

  1. This sorrow is not superficial. It is a holy agony whose purpose is to make Christ precious; to drive out sin; and to make way for solid comfort. Remember that not all sorrow is evidence of true repentance. “There is as much difference between true and false sorrow as between water in the spring, which is sweet, and water in the sea, which is briny.”
  2. Godly sorrow is inward. It goes deep, like a vein that bleeds inwardly. Its grief is for heart-sins that never blossom into action. “A wicked man may be troubled by scandalous sins; a real convert laments heart-sins.”
  3. Godly sorrow is sincere—it sorrows for the offense rather than the punishment. Here lies the heart of counterfeit repentance. “Hypocrites grieve only for the bitter consequence of sin.”
  4. Godly sorrow is intermixed with faith. “Just as our sin is ever before us, so God’s promise must ever be before us.” Sorrow apart from faith is the sorrow of despair, not the sorrow of repentance.
  5. Godly sorrow is sometimes joined with restitution. If you are able, you should recompense the person with whom you had fraudulent dealings. If you are not able to repay what you have taken, promise full satisfaction to the wronged party if the Lord makes you able.

So it is necessary to recognize and be sorrowful for sin in true repentance. Repentance requires that we die to self. We must see that we are not just a bit off track, but that we are utterly lost. The first step is to recognize and correct this misdirection, according to C.S. Lewis. “If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road.”

Lewis also noted that we are not just imperfect creatures in need of improvement—we are rebels who must surrender our arms. This laying down of arms, this surrender—saying we are sorry and admitting that we were heading in the wrong direction—is repentance.

Now repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means killing part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

After making an about-turn and beginning to walk back to the right road, the repentant person will need to stay alert for the return of their self-conceit and self-will. And when they see it—work to avoid it at all costs. When you see this process at work, you know you’re on the road to true repentance.

 

 

12/5/14

Counterfeit Repentance

I think one of the greatest needs for the practice of discipleship and biblical counseling is a clear understanding of what repentance looks like. I’ve known of tearful confessions of wrong doing to spouses and church leaders that had the appearance of sorrow, but failed to last. There wasn’t a true heart change aligned with the expression of sorrow. The thought and writings of the Puritans are full of the riches on how to discern and produce true repentance. What follows are just a few of the gems ready to be mined if you take the time to search for them.

One of the devotionals I regularly read is Day by Day with the English Puritans. Within there, the reading for November 14th, was a passage quoted from the work of Richard Stock (1569-1626). He lectured at several churches in London and is buried in St. Paul’s Cathedral. He said there that:

Repentance is the constant turning of a man in his whole life from all sin unto God, arising from true faith and the true knowledge of a man’s own spiritual estate, ever joined with true humiliation.

Given a modern sense of language, it is better to substitute the word “humility” where Stock said “humiliation.” The person who looks deeply into the mirror of their own heart, and sees clearly what God sees, will always have a sense of their unworthiness joined with the wonderful knowledge of their forgiveness before God. Along with Isaiah, we will express our woe. For we are people of unclean lips who have seen the Lord of hosts. But He will see that our guilt is taken away; that our sin is atoned for (Isaiah 6:5-7).

In The Doctrine of Repentance, published in 1668, Thomas Watson examined the topic of repentance in great detail. We’ll look here at some of what he has to say about counterfeit repentance. You can get a paperback of his work on Amazon, or turn here for an online, updated language version.

Watson said the two essential graces in this life were faith and repentance. By them we fly to heaven. “Faith and repentance preserve the spiritual life just as heat and radical moisture preserve the natural.” He went on to discuss repentance, saying that in order to discover what is true repentance, he would first show what it is not—how a person may delude himself with “counterfeit repentance.” Watson felt there were three “deceits” in counterfeit repentance.

The first counterfeit for repentance is legal terror. Let’s say there was a man who remained in his sin for long time. Finally, God shows him what a desperate hazard he has run and the man is filled with anguish. The storm of conscience blows over, and again the man is quiet. He may believe that he is a true penitent because he has felt some bitterness in sin. “Do not be deceived; this is not repentance.” A sense of guilt can breed terror, but an infusion of grace breeds repentance.

If pain and trouble were sufficient for repentance, then the damned in hell would be the most penitent, for they are most in anguish. Repentance depends upon a change of heart. There may be terror and yet no change of heart.

A second counterfeit for repentance could look like resolution against sin. Watson observed that a person could be resolved to not sin and still not truly be repentant. Such a resolution arises because sin is painful, not because it is sinful. This resolve will vanish. It could also proceed from a fear of death and hell. Self-love, Watson said, is at work here and the love of sin will prevail against it. He warned, “Do not trust to a passionate resolution; it is raised in a storm and it will die in a calm.”

A third counterfeit for repentance is wrapped up in leaving some sinful ways. Here Watson means that a sin might be truly abandoned, but not because of repentance. He agreed that it is a good and great thing for a person to put away sin. However, the individual could part ways with some sins and keep others. The husband who ceases to physically abuse his wife, but continues to demean and criticize her is such a person.

A second leaving could be where an old sin is abandoned, but a new one taken up. This is merely an exchange of sin, for the heart, again, remains unchanged. The person who reforms his delinquent youth, but becomes a corrupt banker as an adult. “So a man moves from one vice to another but still remains a sinner.”

A third leaving is from prudence, not from grace. A woman may realize that while her sin is a pleasure, it could ruin her good name, prejudice her health and impair her wealth. So counting the cost, she decides to stop using drugs. In all these leavings, the initial sin is left, but not because of repentance. “True leaving of sin is when the acts cease because of the infusion of a principle of grace, just as it ceases to be dark when there is an infusion of light.”

In future posts, we’ll look at the true nature of repentance, according to Watson and other Puritans. We’ll close where we started, with Richard Stock.  Above, we noted that Stock said the life of a believer is one of constant repentance. And it seems he walked his talk. Within The Lives of the Puritans, Volume 2, it was said of Richard Stock that he was the means of bringing many persons to the saving knowledge of the truth. “Though many ministers preached to others, and not to themselves, Mr. Stock practiced what he preached. His life was one uniform practical comment upon his doctrine.” He lived a life of true repentance.

 

09/19/14

Where is the Repentance?

image credit: iStock

image credit: iStock

“When someone says they’re sorry but they don’t back their words up with real and lasting changes in their behaviors, sorry becomes meaningless. It is not enough. . . . It’s more often due to the pain they’re in or the pain they fear rather than any genuine remorse.” By saying: “I’m sorry” this person often thinks they are entitled to amnesty, forgiveness and full restoration of relationship—without having to make amends, without suffering consequences, or working to rebuild trust.

Tearful, weepy confessions of sin and wrongdoing have passed for true repentance on too many occasions, deceiving spouses, parents, friends, and even pastors and church leaders. And as Leslie Vernick noted in her July 22nd, 2014 newsletter, if the “sorry” one isn’t readily offered forgiveness, the hesitant one can be labeled as ungracious, ungodly, rebellious or hard-hearted. After their tears, the offender needs to be asked: What amends will you make? What will be the fruit of your repentance?

Even within one of the classic New Testament passages teaching forgiveness, the call for repentant fruit is evident. In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus told his apostles: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Their response was “Increase our faith!” They felt Christ was asking for the impossible.

There is no limit to the extent of forgiveness you should offer to someone who sins against you; and it should be granted without hesitation. BUT such forgiveness should be preceded by repentance—by the offender turning around or retreating from their wrongdoing. So there is a two-fold process in true repentance—saying “I’m sorry” and turning away from the sinful behavior (repentance). Saying: “I’m sorry,” without turning from wrongdoing is pseudo-repentance.

In his Commentary on a Harmony of the Evangelists, John Calvin said of Luke 17:3-4 that “Christ does not order us to grant forgiveness, till the offender turns to us and give evidence of repentance.” In an aside Calvin added that in doing so, it appears that Christ is commanding us to shut our hearts against the obstinate (unrepentant) and refuse them pardon.

He thought there were two ways in which offenses could be forgiven.  The first was to give up the desire for revenge and not cease to love the one who did you an injury. You might even repay kindness for the injury. Yet you could entertain an unfavorable opinion of the person, as they deserve. “For when God commands us to wish well to our enemies, He does not therefore demand that we approve in them what He condemns, but only desires that our minds shall be purified from all hatred.”

The second kind of forgiving is when you receive a brother or sister into favor, being convinced that the remembrance of their offense is blocked out in the sight of God. “This doctrine is very necessary, because naturally almost all of us are peevish beyond measure; and Satan, under the pretence of severity, drives us to cruel rigour, so that wretched men, to whom pardon is refused, are swallowed up by grief and despair.” Here Calvin said a question arises: “As soon as a man by words makes profession of repentance, are we bound to believe him?”

First, the passage relates to the daily faults in which even the best people need forgiveness. What would be the consequence if at the second or third fall, the hope of forgiveness was cut off?

Second, Christ does not deprive believers from exercising judgment, so that they are to believe every slight expression of remorse. He only desires that we are merciful and willing to stretch out our hand to the offenders “provided there be evidence that they are sincerely dissatisfied with their sins. For repentance is a sacred thing and therefore needs careful examination.”

Third, someone could expose himself to suspicion regarding the sincerity of his repentance through light and unsteady behavior. We may grant pardon if he asks, “and yet may do so in such a manner as to watch over his conduct for the future.” This is done so that our forbearance and meekness in granting forgiveness may not become subject to his ridicule.

In summary, then, Calvin suggests that with the daily faults that we are all prone to exhibit, we should be ready and willing to grant forgiveness to others. But an offender should show signs of repentance before receiving forgiveness for other offenses. There should be evidence that they hate their sin. Finally, we are not ordered by Christ to forgive as soon as someone says they are “sorry.” Granting forgiveness can wait until the offender demonstrates their repentance.

The offender’s repentance is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” There can and should be a turning aside from the offense. There should be clear evidence that they are repentant. And if the person is unrepentant, we can refuse to offer this second kind of forgiving.

Even with sincere repentance there may be some failures by the offender. The one who was sinned against needs to realize this and not too quickly judge the offender unrepentant and refuse forgiveness—provided there is evidence of they are “sincerely dissatisfied with their sins.”

We do not have to believe every slight expression of remorse. We can offer forgiveness in a way that includes some accountability, some watchfulness over the offender’s behavior in the future.

We are not required to then become friendly with an offender when offering them forgiveness. We should surrender our desire for revenge, perhaps even repay kindness for the injury. Here God wants us to be free of all hatred. Yet we may still reserve an undesirable opinion of the offender; they may still be an enemy even after receiving forgiveness from us.